What if there was a way to peer into your child’s future and know exactly where they will end up? Would it change the way you parent?
If you knew that no matter what you do, it will not change the things that cause your child to come alive, the things they will chase. If you knew that the only things you could influence are how long it takes them to find it, how they feel about it when they do pursue it and your relationship together.
Would you be less inclined to get in their way, minimise and diminish who they are and damage your relationship in the process if you knew them being something you felt was “less than optimal” was inevitable?
Because if you’re already seeing it emerge? If you’re already trying to control that? Then it probably is. And you probably only see it as “less than optimal” out of conditioning and fear.
Parents usually come from the best of places, they want brilliant things for their children. But it gets muddled up when they start projecting their thoughts on what brilliant is. Our brilliant is our dreams, our priorities. Our children’s is theirs.
What if your child is an artist? Would you worry so much about all the paint they are using, how much time they spent ‘just’ creating or the messes the process brought if you knew this was always to be their contribution to the world?
What if your child is a game coder? Or a chef? A film critic, a musician, a comedian. How would those people meaningfully spend their time? And what things conventionally expected would become a distraction from that?
So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality… I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which, was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. — Jim Carrey
What if your child was already showing you who they are? Are you supporting them to get where they are wanting to be? Or making it harder by pushing them to succeed in directions they don’t feel compelled to travel?
What if your child is an artist? What if you are their barrier…