You don’t HAVE TO do anything. Really.

I feel like the world just needs this public service announcement. Not just for how we are with our children but how we are with ourselves too!

Oh how many times have I heard “but in life, there are some things you just have to do” or similar in relation to enforcing certain expectations on children. It is a fallacy. There is NOTHING you HAVE TO do. You don’t even have to eat. But you know, you probably want to yeah? Why?

Why do you eat?

Why do you sleep?

Why do you do dishes?

Why do you work?

Why do you exercise?

Why do you brush your teeth?


That right there is your motivation. Just because the alternative choice/s seem “objectively wrong”, doesn’t mean they cease to exist; you’re still always making a choice. Your life is not a series of conditioned forgone conclusions. I hope at least. And if not, start living a new truth. Start following your whys!

Don’t live your life doing things “because you have to”, live your life doing things because they make sense to you to do. And if they don’t make sense? Stop.

I’m not going to sell myself the lie of a “have to” existence. And I won’t pass that along to my children either. Because it isn’t honest. And it isn’t a healthy way to approach life. Because it doesn’t make sense. Stop.

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  1. Yes! There’s a saying that goes, the only things you have to do in life are pay taxes and die. Even so, sometimes there are things I “have to” do but they generally lead to “want to” things. For example, I have to study road rules & regulations because I want to get my driver’s license.

  2. Thank you so much for this! You always end up writing exactly what I need to read at the exact right time! Funny.. love it and love your writing. Our little family sees more and more glimpses of how this looks and feels – I just need to let go of control more often to see the magic in it xx L

  3. How refreshing! I quite often am heard saying “because it doesn’t make sense!” Nice to know there are other people out there that question things in our lives. Question everything!

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