When Parenting Feels Hard

Have you ever had a day where your child is really struggling with almost everything? Where they are frustrated and overwhelmed and even angry? Perhaps it even feels as though it is directed entirely at you?

I have.

I have also had days where I am the struggling person.

Have you had days where you all just cry together?

I have.

In fact my last few birthdays have been such occasions. I understand, I find birthdays full of expectation born out of a deep appreciation for the existence of the human we are called to celebrate too.

But something I realise in these moments is this…

Even if we are all upset, I will still value today because I am with the people that I love.

Even if they are scared and need of me constantly, I will still value today because I am with the people that I love.

Even if they are angry or frustrated, I will still value today because I am with the people that I love.

Even if they are too tired to walk so I need to carry them even though I feel exhausted too or they are hungry when we are in the middle of something that I’m enjoying so we need to stop to find food, I will value today because I am with the people that I love.

Even if today is the most inconvenient day imaginable, I will still value today because I am with the people that I love.

Because honestly even the most challenging of moments with my family is better than any reality where it’s just me. And when it comes down to it those are my options. I can have a life with them and every spectrum of experience that entails or I can have a life without them. We are who we are in this moment, the only way for me to not be within it is for us to not be with each other. And that will always be infinitely more painful than anything I could experience with them.

You can have this moment right now with your child or no moment and I choose the moment with them every time.

I want to spend my days with them and people feel, people need, people make mistakes; that is all a part of it.

And it is incredible how powerful it is when we shift from enduring a moment with someone to choosing one with them.

When things are their most difficult, I will value today because I am with the people that I love. And suddenly, things don’t seem quite so difficult at all.

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